Extreme Tedium and Anagram Madness

I have always had a thing for naming things. I just love a clever name with hidden meanings or subtle comedy. At a startup I worked at I suggested the name R.I.D.S because it was a meaningful acronym for the product but also because RID is a lice shampoo and, ironically, the software was full of bugs. On a hiking trip one of my friends had the best day of his life when we discovered the intersection of Woodcock and Kitchen-Dick road. So in a moment of extreme boredom I wondered what anagrams were contained in my name. Some people think there are hidden meanings in anagrams that describe the person. I will let you decide.

Partial Anagrams:

• Lace
• Lame
  
• Lice
• Mellow
• Molehill
• Leach
• Malice
• Callow
• Welsh (oddly, I am part Welsh)
• Leach
• Whore
• Harmonic Relish
• Camelhair Rhino (I am also part Camelhair Rhino)
• Chimera
• Mariachis
• Her Archaism Loin
• Maniac Relish
• Maniac Hole
• Rascal Heroin
• Malaise
  
• Carnal Heroism
• Cholera Rain
• Miracle Hair
• Malice
• Eclairs (I do love eclairs)
• Mescal
• Mohair
• Cream Rhino
• Harmonic Rash
• China Harems

Complete Anagrams for my full name:

• A Cleanlier Whorish Moll
• A Ceremonial Shrill Howl
• A Cashmere Hill Wino Roll
• Each A Hornier Swill Moll

Humiliations Galore

The last 2 days have been difficult for me. Today I vented my frustration to my cube mate about a project I had been working on by facetiously saying "I would rather be punched in the face" and then realized I would rather be punched in the face. Aside from work, which is difficult for everyone, I have had other tribulations.

I was pooped on. On my way to work a seagull pooped on me. I did not appreciate this. I will admit that this seagull has some talent. Not only was there crap on my coat, bag, and scarf, but the side of my face as well. So the universe shat on me. Well, this set the tone for the next 48 hours. I will not pore over the pathetic minutiae of these 2 days but here are the highlights.

• Seagull poop on my face
  
• Painstakingly peeled an orange and dropped it on the filthy floor, unable to eat it
• Smashed face into own desk while reaching for aforementioned orange
  
• Ordered desperately needed beer which waiter forgot to deliver
• Electrocuted lips on microphone
  
• Left zipper open at indeterminate time during afternoon
• Walked to bus with zipper down
  
• Rode bus with zipper down
• Went to grocery store with zipper down
• Failed to cook dinner, unable to operate a stove owned/used for previous 3 years
  
• Cooked dinner with zipper down
• Wife finds zipper tragedy hilarious
• Wife photographs crotch creating permanent record of personal inability to manage own clothing¹
  

I am not enthusiastic about the next 48 hours.


¹ More on this in future posts

Achieving that Horse Sweat Flavor

You know that fleshy bit of meat you keep behind your teeth? The one you use for speaking and grooming yourself? That's right, your tongue. Tongues (and noses by association) are not to be trusted and I will tell you why. In the process of home brewing my Orval Trappist Ale clone I discovered that the monks age their beer using a strain of yeast known as Brettanomyces Bruxellensis. Being a stickler for authenticity I ordered up a culture to use in my own batch. After I ordered this I read the marketing material on the yeast company's website:

Wild yeast isolated from brewery cultures in the Brussels region of Belgium. Produces the classic “sweaty horse blanket” character of indigenous beers... [Wyeast]

I don't personally know any horses. I have never been invited into a horse's bedroom. Apparently, they are sweaty sleepers. Maybe they have night terrors about glue factories? I don't know. But the description is so revolting that I am reluctant to add it to something I plan on drinking. (By the way, this should be not confused with unicorn sweat, revered as both an aphrodisiac and a delicious soup base)

Most likely, you have never tasted something and thought to yourself "this tastes just like that sweaty horse blanket casserole grandma used make." But, returning to my original point about the dishonest nature of tongues, if you drink a variety of wines or beers you have probably experienced this taste sensation without realizing it. Not only is it all the rage among the Trappist brewing monks (a notoriously trendy group), but it is found in some domestic(US) beers, and some wines.¹

This just goes to show that flavor is a complex mistress. Something unexpected (and repulsive) can be used in subtle ways to enhance the sensory experience. With this in mind I am willing to give it a shot in my beer. Wish me luck.

¹There are many examples in the wine world including some from the barrel-aged red, Chardonnay, and Sauvignon Blanc families. And it is used by some notable US breweries like New Belgium and Lost Abbey. Apparently, it lends an aged flavor.

Casting/Plot Idea for Twilight 2: Jacob and Edward join the Rebel Alliance

I wanted to add this to the posting on The Twilight Discussion hour blog but blogger won't allow tags in comments.

Come and Dance with Me Michael

Of Ice and Beer

On the spur of the moment our good buddy DeathBaker of the Twilight Discussion Hour contacted us about her desperate need for a Guinness. It just so happens that our local public house, Pies and Pints, pours an excellent glass of Guinness. In between planning and execution it started snowing but that wouldn't intimidate us. Unfortunately, I forgot my wallet and they were unable to serve me alcohol. I have no regrets about driving through the snow to retrieve it.

I realize that few things are nicer than sipping a Guinness on a snowy night. And even better, sitting in the dark sipping Irish whiskey and hoping for another snow day.